The Funtasian

For all my horse loving friends & fans, I am a guest every Saturday with Sonny Garguilo on Horsin Around Naturally. Also in the studio is Meredith Smith who failed to remember me at first, but that's ok its all coming back to her now. wink wink

If you missed the last three episodes on My Country 96.1 of "Horsin' Around Naturally" with cowboy hat & chap wearing Sonny Garguilo (I am not sure if he realizes nobody can see him on the radio yet...), here they are for you. 

Horsin Around Naturally is broadcast every Saturday morning at 7:30am on My Country 96.1. If you are not local you can download the My Country 96.1 app in the Apple & Google Play stores or listen live on http://www.licountry.com/ (people have complained this doesnt always work though)

For more information on Sonny or to order his new book "Sonnyisms" visit http://www.sonnygarguilo.com/

If you have any questions or comments for the show email me: funtasian227@gmail.com

Thanks for stopping by and I will see you on the Flip Side! MWAHHHH

Here is episode 3 of the JP Pop n' Stuf podcast with comedian Melanie Englert & yours truly, Jeannie Powers. 

Welcome to the Halloween episode where we talk about serial killer Ed Kemper, the Carrie re-make, some crap about Kurt Russell movies, Disney, Melanies hook up at Karp Volvo & was I even there? 

Check it out and thanks for listening.

Follow Melanie on twitter @melanie_englert

Follow Jeannie on twitter @funtasian

Like Jeannie's fan page on http://www.facebook.com/thefuntasian

To view my awesome photos taken by our shows sponsor, Adrienne Brand visit her website at http://www.adriennebrandphotography.com/

Check out who will be performing at the Governors Comedy Clubs by going to http://www.govs.com/

If you have any questions, comments or topics you want us to discuss email Jeannie & Melanie at jppopnstuf@gmail.com

Welcome to Episode 2 of The JP Pop n' Stuf Podcast. Tune in and listen to us talk about rabies shots, spraying the toilet with poo-pourri, Melanies infatuation with presidential tapes, Marc David Herschmann, real pebbles in the fruity pebbles and other funny stuff. Thanks for listening. If you would like to comment, ask us any questions, or have a topic...email us at jppopnstuf@gmail.com or funtasian227@gmail.com

You can also find Jeannie on twitter @funtasian

Melanie on twitter @melanie_englert

Like my fanpage: facebook.com/thefuntasian

Here it is, the very first episode of The JP Pop n' Stuff Podcast! 

I am joined by my co-host Comedian Melanie Englert who  is absolutely obsessed with looking at my beautiful pictures everyday, I have no idea why I dont like things & don't think I need a reason, Melanie humps a stove while tripping out and gives birth to a turkey, how many times do you have to stab a pig and more...

Listen in for all the hilarity. We hope you enjoy episode one & as always thank you for your support! 

We will have a seperate website soon. Just workin out the kinks. 

Follow Melanie on twitter: @melanie_englert & on facebook: Melanie Englert

Follow Me on twitter: @funtasian & like my fan page www.facebook.com/thefuntasian

For suggestions on future topics or comments about our latest show email Melanie & Jeannie at jppopnstuf@gmail.com 

Waking the Kracken - Day 12 & 13 of 180 Days 

It doesn't want to wake up & neither do I. Apprently KMS is contagious & I have it bad. 

I watched her father go in there and say her name at least 15 times with no response. I told him I will deal with her. ( I have yet to whip out my Medusa wig but I will!)

I went in there and yelled her name. It heard me and hissed back OK!! I AM UP!! 

As I started to back out of her lair, it laid back down in its own drool & began to snore. 

I yelled one more time that she was walking to High School today & she rose from her coma, grabbed a pop tart, left a trail of crumbs in her wake and off to school she went. 

She is going to have to start using that little black box on her end table called a clock one of these days before I turn myself to stone with my own Medusa wig. 

A year ago today I wrote a nice birthday blog to my dad thanking him for being my Dad. 

This year I will keep it short and sweet. Here are the pros & cons of being my dad

Pros:

1. Duh...I'm his daughter

Cons:

2. I'm his daughter

Happy birthday old man. You're still stubborn as shit after two bowls of white rice, but I love you anyway. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 

Ps I'm so glad I didn't get your ears. That is all. 

Waking the Kracken Day 5 of 180 Days...

She was relatively tame. I am sure it was due to exhaustion. I watched her sway from side to side on the edge of her bed waiting for the face plant that never came. Part of me wanted to give her a little nudge, but I too was exhausted this morning. 

I started singing this song from Nightmare on Elm Street came to mind while I waited for her to strike...With a few changes of course.

One two the Kracken's coming for you

Three four, better lock your doors

Five six, grab your pop tarts & crucifix

Seven eight, better not wake up late

Nine ten, never heard from again...

She's making me lose my mind, lose my mind...

See you on day six...

Waking the Kracken - Day 4 of her Freshman Year...

Being the Spawn of Satan is no easy task. There are a multitude of chores that need to be done like; turning people to stone, staying cranky 24/7, hiding your spiked tail & trying not to melt people with your fire breath. The fact she is my child probably doesn't help her in the "Be nice" category either. 

Not to mention the KMS (Kracken Monstrual Syndrome) she gets every 28 days. Yes, I meant to say Monstrual. Pray for me. 

This morning at 5:15 I decided to go in her lair with a normal voice to wake her. I had no plans to yell. Also, I wasn't tickling her feet again because I still have festering wounds from yesterday. As I am saying her name 50 times she finally moves. I couldn't tell if her eyes were open and peering at me so I flicked on the light. You would have thought I shined UV light on a vampire because she flailed like she had just walked into a spider web. At this point, my best bet was to run back to my comfy bed and wait. 

Tick Tock...Tick Tock...

Almost an hour goes by and she still hasnt left her room to brush her teeth or eat her Pop Tarts. Not exactly strange behavior but it was awfully quiet in there except for the slight sounds of rustling papers. I can see into the crack of her cave that shes sitting at the edge of her bed. She can very stealthy so I jumped out of bed and was in her room within a second or two. She stared me down and I could've sworn for a split second she was scared of me. NOPE

Me: are you doing your math homework at 6:15am?

Kracken: no just checking my backpack

(I grab the open notebook from her hands and look at the ditto) 

Me: Really, because having that calculator hidden in your lap, the wet ink on your ditto & the fact you look like the Kracken that just ate Andromeda doesn't exactly fit the description of checking your backpack.

Kracken: **crickets**

After spying her math homework and thinking it looked like jibberish I cant help but think it really wasn't homework but the dimensions of the crate she will keep me in locked in the basement. 

4 more hours til day 5. 

One more day til Saturday's sleep in. I may just wake her at 5:15 for my own amusement then take cover. 

It is going to be a long school year. I can't wait for Saturday just so I can sleep in. This is such crap. 

I decided to take a quieter approach to waking the Kracken this morning instead of just barging in her room yelling that Zeus was coming for her first born. 

So at 5:15am I tip toed in its room without protective gear. She looked so peaceful under the blanket with her flaming auburn tresses stretched out over the pillow. I would not be deterred by my beautiful ginger Kracken. 

Trying not to make any noise, I lifted the end of the blanket and tickled the bottom of its feet only to be clawed by its sharp untrimmed talons. 

Day 3 was not a success. I threw a nail clipper at it and made a bee-line to the nearest medicine man for a tetanus shot. AKA Irish whiskey...

Like my fan page!! http://facebook.com/thefuntasian

Well that sucked...

I have 3 alarms set on my phone two did not go off. The third did, but I had already overslept a half hour. I ran into its dwelling and screamed, "The bus is coming!" All the while not making eye contact of course.

It was undeterred, looked at the clock, snarled at me and rolled back over. Ten minutes later and still occupying its lair, I yelled again. It ROARED at me that it was up so I slinked back into my bed where I believe I was tranqued with a dart gun because I don't remember her leaving for school. 

When I awoke there was a half eaten Pop Tart in the vicinity. Crumbs were everywhere & clearly she was mocking me.

I called her at 3pm today to see how her second day of school went. 

Me: How was school?

Kracken: Fine

Me: What did you wear to school today?

Kracken: Clothes

Me: Clothes huh? What a silly choice. Was your Medusa Head Dress unavailable? 

Kracken: **Silence...**

Come back tomorrow for Day 3 of the Kracken Kronicles - Freshman Year