The Kracken Kronicles - Waking the Kracken Days 12 & 13. Freshman Year...

Waking the Kracken - Day 12 & 13 of 180 Days 

It doesn't want to wake up & neither do I. Apprently KMS is contagious & I have it bad. 

I watched her father go in there and say her name at least 15 times with no response. I told him I will deal with her. ( I have yet to whip out my Medusa wig but I will!)

I went in there and yelled her name. It heard me and hissed back OK!! I AM UP!! 

As I started to back out of her lair, it laid back down in its own drool & began to snore. 

I yelled one more time that she was walking to High School today & she rose from her coma, grabbed a pop tart, left a trail of crumbs in her wake and off to school she went. 

She is going to have to start using that little black box on her end table called a clock one of these days before I turn myself to stone with my own Medusa wig. 

Waking the Kracken-Freshman Year-Day 5

Waking the Kracken Day 5 of 180 Days...

She was relatively tame. I am sure it was due to exhaustion. I watched her sway from side to side on the edge of her bed waiting for the face plant that never came. Part of me wanted to give her a little nudge, but I too was exhausted this morning. 

I started singing this song from Nightmare on Elm Street came to mind while I waited for her to strike...With a few changes of course.

One two the Kracken's coming for you

Three four, better lock your doors

Five six, grab your pop tarts & crucifix

Seven eight, better not wake up late

Nine ten, never heard from again...

She's making me lose my mind, lose my mind...

See you on day six...

The Kracken Kronicles Freshman Year - Day 4

Waking the Kracken - Day 4 of her Freshman Year...

Being the Spawn of Satan is no easy task. There are a multitude of chores that need to be done like; turning people to stone, staying cranky 24/7, hiding your spiked tail & trying not to melt people with your fire breath. The fact she is my child probably doesn't help her in the "Be nice" category either. 

Not to mention the KMS (Kracken Monstrual Syndrome) she gets every 28 daysYes, I meant to say Monstrual. Pray for me

This morning at 5:15 I decided to go in her lair with a normal voice to wake her. I had no plans to yell. Also, I wasn't tickling her feet again because I still have festering wounds from yesterday. As I am saying her name 50 times she finally moves. I couldn't tell if her eyes were open and peering at me so I flicked on the light. You would have thought I shined UV light on a vampire because she flailed like she had just walked into a spider web. At this point, my best bet was to run back to my comfy bed and wait. 

Tick Tock...Tick Tock...

Almost an hour goes by and she still hasnt left her room to brush her teeth or eat her Pop Tarts. Not exactly strange behavior but it was awfully quiet in there except for the slight sounds of rustling papers. I can see into the crack of her cave that shes sitting at the edge of her bed. She can very stealthy so I jumped out of bed and was in her room within a second or two. She stared me down and I could've sworn for a split second she was scared of me. NOPE

Me: are you doing your math homework at 6:15am?

Kracken: no just checking my backpack

(I grab the open notebook from her hands and look at the ditto) 

Me: Really, because having that calculator hidden in your lap, the wet ink on your ditto & the fact you look like the Kracken that just ate Andromeda doesn't exactly fit the description of checking your backpack.

Kracken: **crickets**

After spying her math homework and thinking it looked like jibberish I cant help but think it really wasn't homework but the dimensions of the crate she will keep me in locked in the basement. 

4 more hours til day 5. 

One more day til Saturday's sleep in. I may just wake her at 5:15 for my own amusement then take cover. 

The Kracken Kronicles - Freshman Year - Day 3

 Waking the Kracken - Freshman Year - Day 3 of 180 days. 

It is going to be a long school year. I can't wait for Saturday just so I can sleep in. This is such crap. 

I decided to take a quieter approach to waking the Kracken this morning instead of just barging in her room yelling that Zeus was coming for her first born. 

So at 5:15am I tip toed in its room without protective gear. She looked so peaceful under the blanket with her flaming auburn tresses stretched out over the pillow. I would not be deterred by my beautiful ginger Kracken. 

Trying not to make any noise, I lifted the end of the blanket and tickled the bottom of its feet only to be clawed by its sharp untrimmed talons. 

Day 3 was not a success. I threw a nail clipper at it and made a bee-line to the nearest medicine man for a tetanus shot. AKA Irish whiskey...

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Inside The Flip Side - I Am Batman...

As some of you may know my oldest child Madzilla just graduated from High School a few weeks ago. Days leading up to her graduation I would start tearing at the thought, but on the day she walked up to the podium to grab her empty green Longwood High School diploma holder, I did not shed a tear. Instead, I sighed. Strangely enough it wasn't a sigh of relief. I am not sure what I was feeling, but it was odd & it wasn't from the mimosas hidden in my backpack. I cried for days when she went off to kindergarten. I cried when she got her first ribbon at the Hampton Classic. I cried when she left for prom. I even cried when she went on her first date in a car with a boy. I am such a pussy... 

From the day tiny humans are able to carry a conversation they have been asked, "So, what do you want to be when you grow up?" I know I have been asked a million times. Let's see...I wanted to be an astronaut, a vet, a musician, a ninja, the Bionic Woman(of course I didn't realize I would have to lose my limbs for this and possibly an eye and an ear drum), Batman,  a Crayola crayon color namer & a police officer just to name a few. Curiously nobody ever asked me "who" I wanted to be. 

Now that I am a mother of a graduate who is moving onto college this fall, I am inundated with the age old question..."What does she want to be?" That is all you hear people say every June. Do they really know? I still don't know and I am 41. Eeeek. They are just children going off for expensive schooling and having to choose a career. Of course I love that Madzilla wants to be a Large Animal Vet and like everything else she does (besides keeping her room clean) she will excel at it. Really though at this stage of her life, I am more concerned with who she wants to be and I think that is a question that should be asked more often. 

So I did just that at a table of teenagers recently by first asking, "What do you guys want to be?". They rattled off everything from the medical field to teaching to computers. (Except for the Kracken at age 13 said the question bothers her.) Then I asked, "WHO do you want to be?"  CRICKETS. Lots & lots of crickets.  They looked at me like I mind fucked every one of them. They had no idea how to answer it and just stared at me. One even said, "Oh my god, you just blew my mind & I don't know what to say."

With social media taking over the world, I feel like our children are slaves to technology. Too much instant gratification and not enough thinking for themselves. It's all about right now and it has made them very lazy. Who cares about 20 years from now. I will deal with that later. Well, for me it's twenty three years later & I am a mother scared for her children. Know who you want to be before knowing what you want to be. I've told my kids to strive to be a better person for yourself and not for what you think social media wants you to be. You are not your tumblr account or your twitter account or how many "friends" you have on Facebook. Who follows you on twitter does not define who you are. You are the future and from where I stand, that's a scary thought. 

Of course this is just my opinion. Who do I want to be? Here is my short answer...I want to be the one my children say make them laugh & learn from even though I am a complete maniac. Who am I? I am Batman. HA HA HA kidding. I am just a girl in love with laughter who cracks up at herself everyday in the hopes that I crack you up too. 

Are YOU  who you want to be? 

Yea so I kinda screwed with you on the title. It's the only funny thing in this post. Every once in awhile the Why So Serious Funtasian comes out. See what I did there? Thanks for stopping by and for your support. 

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