The Mick & Tommy Show Episode 15 - Thanksgiving Special & Tommy Dumped His African Kid

There is a reason why I continuously come back every week to listen to these guys. One, because I was a podcast virgin & they broke my PC cherry so therefore I am emotionally attached and two, they have grown & evolved for the better over their 15 episodes. It's worth my time & then I get to bring them to all of you. My people.

Here is the link...

http://mickandtommyshow.wordpress.com/?p=41&preview=true

The Mick and Tommy Show Thanksgiving Special with Mick Thomas, Tommy Dunseith & Jimmy Britt. Mark Lund also makes an appearance to talk about his pooing habits

Mick gives us a history lesson about Thanksgiving with definitions. He's really looking at porn. Seriously don't become a history teacher zzzzz. Libria is NOT a country Mick. Mark Lund joins in and apparently is a serial hit & run farter. He really likes his shits too. I can appreciate a good dump.

Mick is hoping he gets sooo big he can hire himself a Fart Guard to take the blame for his unwielding ass stinkers. 

So, what are they doing for Thanksgiving? Tommy & his family are volunteering at the Brain Trauma ward at LIJ. Ensuing Laughter. Sorry man, even that made me laugh. He wants to give thanks by feeding mac and cheese at the wack-a-do ward. Mick calls BULLSHIT. They dont need Tommy. Where's the staff? Tommy explains he will be serving the food and not teasing them with it as they are NOT billy goats. Jimmy tries to be the voice of reason between the two. Tommy must be getting some ass for this. Catholic guilt is making Tommy the villain, but tries to think of other people even when the acid didnt come through. Ahh the truth comes out...He is doing this for a bit.

Mick tells us about his volunteering in Baltimore. The family fed the real homeless while Mick cleaned the kitchen of a potpourri factory ruined by homeless stank. But in all seriousness, Mick is a charitable guy who doesnt like to boast about his charitable contributions. I am Mick Thomas. Buy my new comedy album. www.mickthomascomedy.com. A percentage of the proceeds from the sales will go to St. Judes Childrens Hospital. It is a fabulously funny album that you wont regret buying. Plus it helps St. Judes. Win win. 

Jimmy will eat, give thanks, and not give a shit about the Indians from 400 years ago. Sounds like a plan. 

Micks all by his lonesome on Thanksgiving but dont feel bad for him. He was jacking up the heat, turning the volume up on the porn and having a protitute party with his comedy money. I'm thinking we are all doing Thanksgiving wrong except Mick. 

Micks take on T-day is that our American holiday is just celebrating that we are a bunch of fat fucks. Can you say gluttony?  It's a deadly sin but I have to admit. He's kinda spot on.

Tommy impersonates Mick & I have this sudden urge to eat a bowl of me Lucky Charms.

At one point in his life Tommy bought an African kid off the TV with monthy payments. He bought a GIRL. Because he is Not a queer. Tommys a great artist & sent his African kid a portrait. Uhhh where is she gonna hang it? The money goes to the village but should've went to sending her frogs. They have flies on their faces. A burger or a kit kat would've worked too. Unfortunately Tommy couldn't afford his Arican kid and had to sell it back so they broke up. SMH

There is no Thanksgiving in Ireland. The Irish celebrate holidays by punching their wives. They only do Christmas and Easter. Holidays based on ghosts. 

Tommy tells a crude pilgrim joke...that may or may not have been on the internet a few times. It's ok Tommy I still think you are brilliant. 

When Mick is left to spend the holiday alone he's got a honey do list. He wanted to hire mexicans to paint but couldnt wank. They wont tell anyone. Micks a fuckin genius because he thought of hiring two hookers in heels off Craigslist to paint so he could wank at the same time. Best Thanksgiving EVER. 

Find out what happened when Mick drop kicked a giant styrofoam turkey, kicked a dog back to the Mayflower and told everyone to go fuck themselves. Ok make that two Thanksgivings. Hide yo dogs, hide yo lawn decorations. 

Here comes the shit talk again. Mark comes back after trying to sit up 90 degrees while taking a shit. The approach didn't work. Give it time. Mick takes nice healthy shits, 3 times a day. WHAT THE FUCK?? Talk about a shit show ;)

Tommy is thankful for a magical universe which will infect people with kindness even though there are Irish cunts in the world. Ahem Mick... Timmy is thankful for the ride

I am thankful for these guys who bring their comedic skills to the internet airwaves. 

Follow Mick & Tommy on Twitter: @mickthomas, @tommymarbles. Jimmy has not caught up with the rest of the social networking world as of yet, but he will come to the dark side.

Become a fan on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mick-Tommy-Show/205755642889738?fref=ts These guys seriously need more fan page likes. Come on, you can do it for me...

Subscribe to them on itunes for free so you can get it in Germany...dah

 http://feeds.feedburner.com/MickAndTommyShow

Catch their podcasts on the Wordpress blog site if you have something against itunes like myself:

mickandtommyshow.wordpress.com

And duh like my page too www.facebook.com/thefuntasian

The Mick & Tommy Show Episode 15 is brought to you by Nardy Honda Smithtown www.nardyhonda.com, Mcguires Comedy Club Bohemia www.mcguirescomedyshows.com & Governers Comedy Club Levittown www.govs.com. Three awesome places. Go to them. 

Thanks for stopping by! See you on the Flip Side ;)

Peteww Peteww Peteww Ewww...Inside the FLIP Side

As I counted down the days of my return home to the states, my parents got increasingly irritated with me. Of course I was just as annoying and relentless back then as am I now. Probably more now. Definitely more now. I pounced my dad every morning with the magic number til we left. That was so much fun. He would get so mad, but I didn't care. I just wanted to go home so badly.

Every night I told myself this was one less day that I had to spend chasing chickens who were "toys" during the day and dung oven sacrifices at night. I would leave behind the pet turkeys on leashes and the dogs with no names. yuckkkk! The toothless candy lady in the woods would probably go broke without my daily runs to her jungle bunk house. My uncles would have to go back to torturing each other instead of me since I would no longer be there. The mosquito net that strangled me every night in the cage I slept in would be no more. I wouldn't be caked in pig shit mud to hide from mosquitos and my relatives. The lizards, snakes and godzilla size cucaraches would not be running, slithering or crawling up my legs. I wouldn't have to worry about getting thrown in the river by a random Fama. You know who you are...

Going to church with my Lola everyday would be halted for ETERNITY. I mentioned in earlier blogs that I would only enter church if she bought me popcorn. I did enjoy chewing my popcorn rather loudly and for that I got wacked but thinking back, it was worth it. It wasn't that my Grandmother didn't love me. She just didn't know what to do with me. I guess beat me into submission with that damn broom would work for her. I wasn't afraid. My uncles should have never taught me that word....putanginamo....ooooh I said it again. How was I supposed to know I was either saying you are a son of a bitch or your mother is a slut whore. ooops. Real nice guys. Real nice. I love you Grandma broom and all, but your kids are freakin loco.

I wouldn't have to yell "WHAT??" 5000 times because I couldnt understand anybody or repeat myself constantly because they couldnt understand me either. I wouldn't shit my pants purple from eating ice cream I was lactose intolerant to. I was definitely NOT going to see another dead body for awhile or at least one that wasn't embalmed. Dudes, we got a stinker

My sweet uncles and cousins told me I was never going home. Jackasses. They said only my brother Ben was going to be allowed. The little Prince will pay. They told me I had to stay and climb coconut & banana trees for them. They even handed me a machete to wield around. Yes, I was five and I had a machete. They are so lucky I didn't feed Ben to the momma pig for saying that. Im pretty sure I wanted to at that point.

Another item on the list I would hope to never witness again in America...You know when they say, there are starving people in Africa, eat your food? Well apparently there are starving people in the Philippines. Want not, waste not was big in this family. Nothing was left to spare or left uneaten. NOTHING. I often heard this sound petewww petewww petewww. The sound of spitting. I never really paid much attention to it til I found out what they were shooting passed me with their forked tongues. Now, I myself have never eaten a chicken foot and never will, but my mom and her family LOVES that wrinkly old cocks nasty ass foot. After you have chewed the meat off its pod, what do you have left in your mouth?  Little chicken toe nails. Petew, petew, petew....ewwwwww.

My nightmare would be over soon or so I thought...

See you next time on "Inside the Flip Side" and find out why I have a fourth hole

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I love seeing your comments so feel free to leave them under the blog post or on my fan page. Thanks for always coming back. The support is a wonderful thing. It almost melts my little icy heart. Almost...

 

 

Inside the Flip Side..."The Mick Thomas Show Epi 12: Dick'll Make You Slap Somebody"

I brag about these clowns every week (except the month they re-organized) so I am sure I don't have to tell you AGAIN how funny they are so here is their 12th podcast episode...

The Mick Thomas Show featuring Mick Thomas, Tommy Dunseith and Jimmy Britt.

http://soundcloud.com/the-mick-thomas-show-podc/the-mick-thomas-show-episode-2

Here is a summary...

Episode 12 is sponsored by McGuires Comedy Club in Bohemia www.mcguirescomedyshows.com & Nardy Honda Smithtown www.nardyhonda.com. Wink. They didn't receive any emails this week. Lazy fuckin listeners. All pity emails can be sent to themickthomasshow@yahoo.com. Seriously email them. They will read them on air.

Tommy has an alter ego named Timmy and he showed up for a hot second. You will have to listen to their older podcasts(I swear I will post them soon) to hear him and he's a few flies short of a poo poo platter but Tommy as Timmy is hilarious. Mick banged two sisters at an Ireland wedding. Nobody gave two shits.

This Wednesday October 24th, Jimmy Britt has a movie he created called The Creature from the Blecch Lagoon. Check the artwork for more information and go see the show. 

Paranormal Activity 4...Do you believe in ghosts? Timmy believes in sasquatch. Find out what the Lochness Monster really is. The Long Island Mediums husband sifts thru garbage and this weeks wacked video discussion about why dick'll make you slap somebody. She rockin & rollin!

The Mick Thomas Show has a facebook fan page and what do we do with them? We likey poo them. They need 50 likes so they can get their own web link. Can you help them out?

Click the link below!

https://www.facebook.com/HuhWhat#!/pages/The-Mick-Thomas-Show/205755642889738?fref=ts

To listen to their podcast, click below...

http://soundcloud.com/the-mick-thomas-show-podc/the-mick-thomas-show-episode-2

 

 

 

 

 

"If I Go, the Piggy Goes...Inside the FLIP Side"

I often think I suffered from some form post traumatic stress syndrome after I came home from the Philippines.  I mean how else could I remember every little detail of my dreadful time there?  I have had nightmares for years that I am drowning in rice patties, eaten by carabao, strangled by snakes, squashed by the piglets mother and eaten all the pets I have ever owned.  I swear, I am NOT bitter...

My brother would never remember being in the Philippines.  I am not sure whether to feel sad for him because of all the wonderful (gag) culture he missed out on or joyous that he wasn't tortured in such a way that my life was changed forever by the experiences back home.  He never left my mothers lap in the Philippines...oh those damn shackles & springs on his legs.  They saved his ass a whoopin, although I doubt anyone would wack a little Fama prince.

I couldn't wait everyday to sneak off to the candy lady.  I would steal all the change that fell off my dresser and rolled in between the bamboo before anyone else could.  I was closest to the floor besides my brother and he never stepped foot on the ground so I got first dibs.  Plus, if I was going to get a broom whoopin everyday, I should at least get paid for it...in large amounts of sugar.  Grandma knew all my hiding spots anyway.  My cousin ratted me out.

Waking up tangled in a mosquito net every night and not being to able to go pee because I was terrified of what was lurking on the floor are what those nightmares were made of.  The gigantic cockroaches bigger than my face & creepy little lizards who ran up, down & thru the bamboo.  I am sure Godzilla, Mothra and Gamera were also close by.

The river outside my shanty had no guard rail and it was a long rocky way down.  If you fell off the edge, the giant crocs were going to eat you.  At least thats what I was told.  My Uncles threatened to throw me over the edge numerous times. The crocs had laid their eggs on a big pile of crap in the middle of the river. I tried to hit the eggs with rocks to kill the baby beasts that may or may not be having me for lunch.  I tried so many times and never hit them once.  My Uncles continued their scare tactics.  Ok fine, you full breed mofos, two can play at this game.  So, I grabbed a piglet and brought it over to the edge as leverage against my would be assasins. If I go the little piggy goes. If the little piggy goes, you starve.  MUAHAHAHA.  What a smart little half breed I was holding that piglet over the edge until...

You see your Grandmother holding two brooms and yelling your name.  Who the HELL gave her back up??

Til next time...I'll see you on the FLIP side...

"I See Dead People...Inside the FLIP Side"

When I wasn't being tortured at Catholic school by ruler wielding Tagalog only speaking teachers and nuns, I was at my grandmothers shanty by the river walking turkeys in circles. This was not by choice. She begged my mom to leave me with her. She should have just cut to the chase and said, "My broom misses Jeannie's pu-et(ass)". I spent more time running from the broom than time with my Lola(grandmother). God, I hope she doesn't find out I hid the broom under the bed...

My uncles weren't all that bad, but I couldn't understand a word they said. Between their broken english and thick filipino accent it was hard to communicate so I nodded alot & awkwardly smiled. I took defeat and asked one of my younger uncles to teach me more tagalog. He was fun. He taught me all the bad words. I realized later on that this was just another form of getting me in trouble. The broom was found and I was chased once again for telling my Lola off. Tagalog style. My uncle will pay. Im going to steal his dinner and set it free. Here, piggy piggy piggy...

While my english was perfectly fine, my tagalog was definitely in need of help. I could have sworn my mother said she was going to a party when she spoke to the Fama-ly. As the elders headed for the bus stop, I used to my half ninja like skills to wriggle away from my cousins who were holding me back from joining my mother. I was mighty strong for a wee little Flip. Hahaha, I got away.  Im going to the party!! I'll deal with the broom later.

My mother didn't realize I was on the bus til it was too late. She didn't hear the screams of my cousins yelling to stop the bus. My mom and Aunt "Slants" were NOT happy to see me at all. They mumbled about how I shouldn't be going to the "Party". Too bad ladies, I was going and I was thrilled about it. Why were they all shaking their heads?

As we departed the bus I saw a lot of people at this party. It was hot as hell in this little house and it smelled really bad. What kind of Filipino food were they cooking at this party? It smelled worse than a burning goat.  Lots of candles were lit, but someone should tell them they weren't working. I was hungry. As I made my way through the house. People were crying. I don't like this party, but I need food. Finally, I saw my Mom and Aunt Slants looking at a table wrapped in pretty lace and satin. I found the food & geesh the food really stinks here. I ran up to the table, but I was too small to see the food. So, I used my half ninja like skills again. I grabbed the table and kept jumping to see. My Aunt Slant kept swatting at me to cut it out, but I was determined even though it stunk like shit in there. This party SUCKED. I moved to my mothers left and took one more giant leap as I grabbed the table for leverage. The table rocked forward just a bit. Enough for me to see that I was NOT at a party. This was NOT a table of food. This IS a WAKE and I just saw my first DEAD body...

Can't a girl just get an eggroll?

See you tomorrow on "Inside the Flip Side" ;)