The Kraken Kronicles - 180 Something Days of Waking the Beast For School

For those of you who follow my 181 day nightmare of waking my eighth grader for school, I'm putting the entries from Facebook into a new blog post. If you haven't read them, here they are so you can catch up.

Day 1...As always Sydney aka fire breathing sleep monster is a complete and utter joy to wake in the morning. Good luck moms & dads. This sucks.

Day 2...My 615am back to school mornings:

Me: Bye Mad Love you
Mad: love you too
Cut to 6:40am
Me: Syd...Syd...Syd... Repeat 50x
Syd: making some unearthly groan/growl
Me: Runs & retrieves cross, wooden stakes & a poptart for leniency. Hides 

Day 3...Waking up Sydney for school can only be compared to going after Medusas Head. DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT...

Day 4 of waking Syd Vicious for school...I barely made it out alive. For those of who are thinking I should get her an alarm clock...she smashed the last two. That's my girl... monster

Day 5 of waking Sydney for school:

The Kracken has grown weak. It has cramps.
(The village rejoices!)

Day 6 of waking Sydney for school...

The Kracken is weakened & betrayed by its body...hollaaaa

(take note...every 28 days it will not fight back)

Day 7 of waking Sydney for school...

The Kracken is not happy, it yelled at me. We must make a sacrifice....ohhhh Leo where are you? It's hungry

Day 8 of waking Sydney for school:

I put my phone in her room(double cased of course) to go off every five minutes with very loud rooster sounds from 630am to 645am. It figured out that after a minute rooster stops.

The Kracken is smart. It brought my phone to me with a smirk, kicked a few things and went back to sleep...

Day 9 of waking Sydney for school:

It doesn't like rooster sounds. It jumped onto my bed, put the alarm next to my ear, took my blanket & went back to sleep. The Kracken is spiteful.

Random weekend post: I can't wait for the kids to have off Monday and Tuesday. Not because I love them or anything...because Sydneys a beast in the morning and my deflector shields are running low

Random weekend post: The Kracken has fallen ill. I hear sniffling, coughing, & sighing coming from its cave. Must've picked up something in that Petrie Dish ill call Longwood Jr High. Hope it doesn't wander out and infect the "others".

No School Monday Post: I tricked the Kracken this morning knowing it was weak and embattled with illness into thinking she had school today. I watched it curl its tail i mean toes under its rock(blanket) to hide from me. I couldn't control my laughter which upset the beast. She threatened to eat my first born. I said go ahead, she still has no job.

Day Ten of waking Sydney for school:

I made the Kracken kneel before me as I had many weapons in my hands.

Two brushes, leave in conditioner & chapstick.

She bowed her head while I tamed the its hair. She left for school and gave me the side eye and a curled lip on her way out.

I must lay out a peace offering of Pop Tarts, cereal bars & meat for her return.

Day 11 of waking Sydney for school:

I over slept. Sean had to do it. He hasn't been heard from since. Muahahaha.

Day 12 of waking Sydney for school:

After Seans disappearance yesterday, I thought I should just let the Kraken sleep in. Our kingdom can not suffer another loss. Plus we are out of Pop Tarts and its all sickly and pale.

What good is fighting when its not a fair fight?

Random Weekend day of waking Sydney:

Its 11:15am I creep in her room with my video camera & jump on her bed singing Rise and Shine bring glory to your morning. The Kraken is onto me. It hides and yells. The beast is no fun today. Sending her apple picking with grandma for not being a better  prank. There is video of this...somewhere

Random weekend day of waking up Sydney

I'm not stupid, I yelled from my room that we were going to Dennys...and out she came.

Like her mother, all you have to do is lure her with some food

Day 13 of waking up Sydney:

I caught her at midnight still awake watching funny videos of people getting hurt on YouTube so i knew her 6am wake up call would be a doozy.

630am: I yell from afar to wake up so it sits at the edge of the bed. I hear no grunts, no movement, but its sitting there motionless. Then all of a sudden I watch it fall over face first into a pile of clothes.

Morning my sweet Kracken...







Day 14 of waking Sydney for school...

Somethings coming. The calm before the storm. She woke up without much incident. Only screamed at me once. The Kraken is plotting its revenge, why else would she smile so early?

I'll be foraging supplies for the coming battle.

Day 15 of waking Sydney for school...

The Kraken was BORING. She woke right up. Hmm guess she didn't want the bucket of ice, the air horn, the cow prod, the long stick, or me screaming.

I may save on pop tarts this week.

And the village rejoices once again

Day 16 of waking Sydney for school:

The Kraken was relatively boring again.

I received A LOT of loud OKAYS when I made her get out of bed 3 times. Nothing was launched and no limbs are missing.

I am not optimistic that it will continue to be kind in the coming days ahead. She will falter and I will be waiting...with Pop Tarts

Day 17 of waking Sydney for school:

I didn't...I sent in a recruit. Muahahaha

She's missing, but may be found under that pile of crap in her room. I'll check later

Day 18 of waking Sydney for school:

Woke her four times before she finally made her way to Monsters Inc. Jr High...

Then she puked.

Day 19 of waking Sydney for school:

I peeked in and it was still a little green and there was drool. Probably the poisonous kind that melts skin off.
More lysol is needed