So here we go...
My inquisitive child recently asked me what it was like find out I was pregnant with her. Do I lie and say it was the happiest day of my life? It was not, but it was a day that changed my life forever. I was completely shocked. I cried and cried and cried. I was young just two days shy of my 23rd birthday and not married. Bad girl. I was not ready. She asked me what I was thinking. My life was over. I told her I went over my choices in my head. She looked at me like, what do you mean you thought about your choices?? We all have choices. It is our right. It is my body. I told her that when I was asked what I wanted to do, I told her the only thing I could and said I was having you. She was shocked by the fact that we thought about it. She said, "Obviously you made the right choice to have an amazing child." This was true and amazing is an understatement.
I have never been one to sugar coat anything. You will never hear me say how wonderful pregnancy is or how much i enjoyed having a child growing inside of me. Being pregnant sucked but I will have a seperate blog about that.
Dear Madeline,
You came to us November 9th at 4:31 pm. I think. One of you was born at this time. Sucked out by a Dyson and you were blue, purple even with the cord wrapped around your neck not breathing. I yelled to make you scream. You were born a procrastinator. You still are...just like me.
Yep, You were beautiful. Just as I had predicted. Big violet-blue eyes that you got from your Daddy. A full head of light brown hair. Grandma thought you looked filipino. Delusional. You were long and not chubby as I had imagined. Then I saw them...Holy Mother of God. Your feet were HUGE and so were your hands. The nurses laughed at you. You held your own bottle at two days old. You were extraordinary, but you didn't like to sleep. What a pain in my ass.
You were easy to raise. I never spoke to you like you were a baby. I always told it like it was with you no matter what your age and I always will. I am not sure why I never babied you, but I hope it doesnt backfire on me. So you called me a bitch at age 3. You are so much like me. Your wit and sarcasm is spot on and I enjoy our daily banter even though sometimes I want to punch you in the uterus.
I love laughing with you and even more so, I love laughing at you. Can't help it, I am mean like that.
As my first born, I wanted to put you in every sport or activity I could. You didn't care for anything really until I put you on a horse for the first time and you were a natural. That's my little panker...
You were such a great little equestrian. A champion really. Our champion. Nobody could touch you in that ring when you brought your A game which was 99 percent of the time. The day we gave you and Sydney your pony Stella was one of the greatest moments of my life. You cried with excitement and happiness. Sydney of course screamed at the top of her lungs with jealousy wanting to know where her pony was. It was hilarious. I am sorry you lost her. She was your best friend and I know her death changed you.
I am so proud of your accomplishments. You had the ability to go into a ring and take it all. You're an artist and a good one. A gift from your father of course. You didn't get that shit from me.
I always had a camera in your face and you were always prepared with a smile. You were and still are very photogenic. I am not saying this because I am your mother and feel obligated to tell you how beautiful you are. You really are. You never look bad. Ok there was that one year when you were very sick. You could go to the barn with your hair up in a ratty bun and still look gorgeous. Lucky bitch. You have grown up to be a lovely young lady. Im so proud of who you have become. Except the lazy never cleaning your room, hate to do chores, huff and puffing part. You gotta work on that.
Lets talk about your feet. They are no joke. Gigantic. They are why we call you Madzilla. You would trample over everything with your giant pods. Your hands are alien like. Somebody will be shocked when they get a huge bitch slap from you.
In a little less than a year you will go off to college. School Sucks. I am so happy you are taking your core classes at home before you go off to become a large animal vet. I dont think I could ever handle you going away so soon even though I'll have had 18 years with you. You're my daughter and it will never be enough time.
Dont worry there will be more blogs about you and your awesomeness. I am holding out for the good stuff. This was just a special one. Happy Birthday to my spawn of satan. You are without a doubt Awesome, but even more so, you are the heart that beats outside of my body. I chose wisely...
Love,
Your old, immature & childish mother...
Enjoy some older pics of us. See you on the Flip Side ;)
