Here Piggy Piggy Piggy...Inside the FLIP Side"

I pondered a question to my father..."Daddy, why dont the dogs here have names? A shrug was all I got & a bit of a snicker.

Hmmm, but the turkeys & chickens had names, how strange. Are the turkey & chickens their pets? After all the turkeys did have leashes.  I kind of already knew the answer. My mother told me the stories about all the four legged animals she had eaten. All the chickens she beheaded. She called them her "toys".  Good lord, my mommy was a SAVAGE. She will do well in Yaphank, but I wondered if this is why we didnt have a dog back home. She might eat it.

I dont remember the first time I went to the Philippines. I have only heard the stories of my disgust for this home away from home. I have seen the pictures and I am not smiling in any of them. Actually, I am crying and this doesn't shock me because there's an Uncle in all of them.

My grandparents shanty by the river was a lap of luxury. Have you ever been chased with a broom while you tried to get away by crawling across a bamboo floor? Not the smooth bamboo floors of today either. REAL bamboo. The kind if you crawl across you swear that your knees had shattered. Why was I being chased by my grandmother and her broom across a bamboo floor? It was because I wouldnt eat the shrimp off her stick. My face is cringing right now remembering how it still had beady black eyes and all its little legs. She tried to stick it in my mouth and I refused. How disgusting. Who eats things with the eyes still attached? Get me the hell out of here and it was only day 1.

I counted every day til I could go back to Yaphank where my grandfather made me coffee and watch tv. There was no TV and no coffee here, but there was 7-up. It came delivered in a milk crate, a weeks worth and I drank it all in one day. I denied this of course. Oh fuck, here comes the broom again

I slept tangled in mosquito nets by night and played in the pig sty by day. More like hid in the sty until an Uncle ratted me out. Damn full breeds. I felt at home with the little piglets. Must've been the Yaphank in me. One of the Uncles who will remain nameless kept telling me not to touch the piglets because its mother would not love it anymore or feed it. He also told me I killed all the chicken eggs too.  I asked him if this is what he told himself when he ate them. And out came that damn broom...

I felt like I was running for my life from Grandmothers to the toothless candy lady in the woods. Yes, even half way around the world, if there was candy I was going to find it. Even in the jungle. I was five, barefoot and running around a stange land all by myself. How did I ever make it out alive & who the fuck was watching me?

I dont remember at what point my parents enrolled me in Catholic School. What I do remember is the ugly uniform, the extreme folding of the knee socks, the fact that nobody ever smiled (a requirement) and in the class picture, we were told NOT to smile(What the fuck is this god awful place?). I got yelled at daily for doing what I did best. Scream at the teacher in english. I was the token half white kid. She hated me and she told on me to the nuns.  I was in BIG trouble.  So I did the only thing I could do to protect myself. I hid my Grandmothers broom... 

Next time on Inside the FLIP Side..."Mom, is that a dead person?" "How far is the fall to those crocodiles?" & "Why are we using umbrellas if its not raining?" See you on the FLIP side!!