Having an Asian stay at home mother meant being raised Asian. I was spoken to in Tagalog. I learned to cook Filipino food at an early age and I ate what was in the "Mystery Pot" for fear of being forced to eat something worse like Balut or Pigs Blood. (yea im puking in my mouth a little too right now)
For as far back as my elephant memory can remember, there was always a Fama or a whole Famaly hiding, I mean taking refuge, I mean living in my home. I started to refer to it as the Fama Half Way House of Horrors. They were completely taking over and I was scared I would never see a baked potato ever again.
I often went down to the lake behind my house to catch dinner with my Uncle because thats what the natives do back home. He didnt like catching fish with a pole so one afternoon he went into my Grandpas workshop and came out with a spear gun he hand made. He liked to shoot from the "trees". Tarzan meets Magyver by way of Manila. My brother thought it was the coolest thing ever. I thought this man is one egg roll short of Lucky Chans combination platter.
Now remember, I am half white and chose freely on which country I wanted to be on any given day. Having all these Famas in the house with their babies and what not meant I was greatly outnumbered by the Bruce Lee look alikes so I pulled the white card often. As I got older my Tagalog was lacking and told them it was rude to speak in tongues in front of an American. Sometimes their language got so advanced I could only listen for my name but I learned the faster and louder they spoke meant someone (usually another Fama) was coming to town and they were bringing more Famas to live with us. It also meant my Dads white man does a Filipino accent wasn't going away anytime soon and he sucked at it.
My only refuge from this madness was going to school but then the unthinkable happened. My mother got a JOB and not just ANY job.
DUN DUN DUN...
My mom was now the freakin CAFETERIA LADY at my elementary school. Yea my mouth was agape too and not from her just being the lunch lady but from the smell of tator tots that wofted off her body daily.
...to be continued with "No Jeannie's Not My Dawtuhh, She Adopted"...Inside the Flip Side