Anybody who knows me knows I HATE working out. The only workout I want is between the sheets or bending my elbows to get the fork to my mouth. The last thing I want to do after working all day is get down with Sean T and his psychotic workout for over achievers.
What I really want to do is fire up the deep fryer and make some lumpia with rice and vinegar. Nom Nom Nom
Well its day two of Insanity with Turner & Hef. I was proactive and opened the windows, turned off the heat and upped the ceiling fan to high prior to working out. Its almost ten pm and I have better things to do like surf the net for obnoxious posts. While I was waiting for Jen 1 and Jen 2, I set up my tablet to record the hilarity in the hopes they wouldn't find out. Hef found out... And although I won't post the video because I have been threatened with being dismembered by a woodchipper, it went something like this... "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, IF YOU POST THIS ANYWHERE I WILL COME AND FIND YOU etc... etc..." hmmm I have to learn how to edit movies on my tablet to just show the funny clips
At first it was only recording us from the Asses down. It was not a pretty site at all. So I made it worse by turning the camera so it would get the full bodies. Nothing to see here but dying seals wailing for god & chocolate to come save them.
Just like on day one, I do not understand how these people move so damn fast. We had to do a lot of jumps. The guy on the video was like a mexican jumping bean. I really want to hurt that man so he can never jump again. I don't like anyone in these videos. Like I said, put a fat bitch in there like myself who cant make it through a 3 minute warm up because that's what really happens when you do this workout. Asian Tanya to the left with a smile on your face? Fall down and break your face & all your teeth. Corn row abs of steel to the right? Pull your groin out & get an abdominal hernia. Irish step dancer in the back? Impale yourself on a Guiness tap & choke on some Lucky Charms. Sean T? I want to kick you in the nuts. Just sayin...
The only words I want to hear from Sean T are: Time for your 30 second water break and move at your own pace. My pace is sloth. A sloth that crawls across the floor and lays half on the couch half off.
Hef hid my phone again. I hate tall people.
After making it through yet again another 40 minutes of hell, the three of us sat down to watch the video. When you are actually doing the jumps, you think you are getting so far off the ground & you're all excited. That excitement disappears when the video proof shows this not to be true. We suck. We suck really bad.
I am writing this blog 24 hours after the workout. I can't walk today. I don't even want to get off this chair to walk up the hallway to bed. I'm contemplating staying here all night. I dont know why my calves hurt so bad since I couldn't jump my fat ass off the ground. We all took today off from working out but Turner will be here tomorrow morning. Kill myself. I think I will cover myself in pain patches and tape hot hands to my boobs. They don't hurt. I just want some hot hands on them ;)
Here is a still photo from the video of me lying on the floor with Turner in the corner and I can't get up.
See you tomorrow on Inside the Flip Side. Night Tasians! MWAHHHHH & thanks for stopping by.